#AND THEN WE HAD BOAT SCIENCE

[thewanderingmask]

good time on the pearl stream today

[stars-inthe-sky]

#this is such a good generational take #I’ve been thinking recently of how it’s not that I was a more authentic version of myself a decade ago #it’s that I liked that version of myself more #not because she was better but because being her was MORE FUN #but realizing that fun doesn’t equate to authenticity has helped me embrace the me of the 2020s more #being her is sooo much less fun and less hopeful but she’s still me and she’s awesome #anyway I tuned 10 right before the millennium so I only knew clinton era prosperity #and the bush era was more stupid than it was scary - like I was so angry at the islamophobia and the war but that felt rooted in ignorance #more than today’s evil that feels rooted in cruelty #and then obviously obama happened when I was in college #and while we saw the racist backlash with the tea party it still felt fringe #it was a dying gasp #until…it wasn’t #and now it’s been a DECADE #and I’m a real ass adult who has to have a job and maybe have a kid and things feel so bleak #but at least I had that young adulthood under obama #my gen-z colleagues never got that #they don’t get to know who they could be if they didn’t have to deal with this shit every day of adulthood and I’m so angry on their behalf (via @deeplyridiculouslyinlove)

am taking perverse pleasure in reminding people it's 2025. that's a star trek year. silly little science fiction number. except it's happening, and DANG ain't it underwhelming!

[twisted-broth]

Emergency Rendezvous

Introduction

TW: accidental drugging, aphrodisiacs (no actual smut yet but reader is v horny)

You swat Grim's paws away from the ingredients on the table for the third time while Crewel continued explaining the science behind your assigned potion. He grumbled impatiently, resting his chin on the workbench. With the hand not prepared to Throw Down, you copied Crewel's drawing of some kind of chemical synapse with little bubbles in between labeled "endorphins".

"What makes this solution so potent is the ability of our magic ingredients to act directly on endorphin-releasing pathways in the brain, encouraging the body's natural painkiller system rather than introducing an artificial one. This greatly reduces the risk of addiction seen in non-magical analgesics. While this potion is relatively low risk, and hopefully easy enough that even you pups can't mess it up, there is a significant overlap with nearby pathways that may produce unintended effects. I trust that I've trained you properly enough to thoroughly check the labels on your ingredients and weigh them carefully."

The moment Crewel ended his lecture, Grim was grabbing at the various powders and herbs. With barely a glance given to the textbook in between you two, he started haphazardly shaking the magical- and probably expensive- elements into a weigh boat on the scale.

"Grim! What part of 'read the label' did you not understand?" You reach for the bottle, but are too slow to stop Grim from tossing the ingredient into your cauldron. You sigh wearily, resigned to leave the fate of your grade in Grim's trigger-happy paws. You manage to double check most of the ingredients before they're added to the mix, surprisingly in the correct order. After over a year spent with your troublesome pet/friend/roommate/co-student, you've learned to adopt an "it is what it is" mindset.

When the concoction is finally done, you're honestly shocked to see that your potion is the same color as everyone else's. To make it even better, nothing exploded in the process! You swirled the blue potion around in the flask, admiring the iridescent tone.

"Good dogs!" Crewel congratulated the class, almost sounding surprised that nothing had gone wrong. "Since you've all signed your waivers, and the risk associated is low, I'll allow you to test your products now or save them for later. If you experience any adverse side effects, inform me at once. Class dismissed!"

You eyed the potion on the desk in front of you, weighing the risks it posed. A tap on your shoulder stole your attention, and you swiveled around to see Ace sporting his usual self-righteous smirk. Beside him, Deuce was curiously sniffing their own creation.

"What d'ya think, prefect? Gonna give it a taste test?"

You respond with a weary laugh, finding that the shimmer of the potion was becoming less and less appealing. "I don't know... I mean I don't really have any pain right now. I guess my back is a bit sore?" You reply noncommittally.

Ace rolled his eyes with a tsk. "Aw, c'mon! Crewel never lets us try the potions we make. I, for one, have a killer headache. Cough it up Loosey Deucey!"

Ace swipes the flask from Deuce's hands, ignoring his scoff of protest. With disturbingly little hesitation, he downs the potion in seconds and licks the stray blue droplets from the corner of his mouth. The three of you watch him with mixed expressions of anxiety and curiosity, waiting for the potion to take effect. After another minute or so, Ace's eyes widened in excitement. "Hey, it's totally working! Damn that's a lot better!"

"And of course you had to go and hog it all to yourself," Deuce grumbled, resting his head on the workbench.

Grim pushed your experimental product closer to you. "Well? Go on, henchhuman! Anything the Great Grim makes will be 10x better than those two."

You raised an eyebrow, highly doubtful of Grim's claim considering his disregard for proper measurements. You open your mouth to voice your hesitation, but the excitement in his eyes gives you pause. Well, Crewel did say the potion was pretty low-risk, even if you did make it wrong. And you suppose even Grim deserves some semblance of a win on occasion. With a heavy sigh, you raise the flask to your lips and down the concoction.

You're pleasantly surprised by how good it tastes. Not that you were really paying attention to the ingredients, but you just assumed it would be terrible. Instead, the faint taste of honeysuckle and lavender dances across your tongue, gracing your throat with a warm coating on the way down. You can trace the warmth down your chest and into the stomach, where it slowly dissipates throughout the rest of your body. Despite the pleasant sensation, you say with certainty that your back ache had gone away. Rather, you were distracted from the dull pain as the same warm feeling flooded and settled in your groin.

Either from the potion or the realization of your situation, a furious blush burned your cheeks and ears. It took nearly a minute for you to regain your composure and notice the voices of your friends calling out to you in concern.

"Y/n! Are you alright?" Deuce gently placed a hand on your forearm, trying to bring you back to reality. You gasp at the touch, quickly withdrawing your arm as though you had been burned. Noticing your friends hurt expression, you cleared your throat in embarrassment.

"Sorry! Just a different sensation than I was expecting. You did great Grim! It works really well." You laugh unconvincingly, already feeling a drop of sweat budding at your temple.

Ignoring the various expressions of concern and confusion, you stand up abruptly, nearly knocking your chair over in the process. You make quick work of gathering your belongings, using all your focus to hold onto your last bit of composure.

"Sorry guys, I forgot that I uh... told Azul I would help out at the lounge! It'll be suuuuper boring though, so you guys should go on without me. I'll catch up to you later!" Without leaving room for protest, you rushed out of the lab room, hiding your beet-red face behind your free hand.

Within minutes, you were urgently knocking on Crewel's office door. The sudden noise summoned two large black noses to the narrow gap under the door where they sniffed intently at your feet. From within the office, you hear Crewel call out for you to enter. The dogs retreat from the door at the sound of their master's voice, allowing you space to slip in and close the door quickly behind you.

Although Crewel initially only glances in your direction, he does a double take at the sight of your flushed face and sweat-drenched brow. Two lanky Dalmatians regard you with mild intrigue from their large bed in the corner, where they lay daintily on top of one another. A rare look of concern crosses Crewel's features. "Prefect? Are you alright?"

You stay pressed against the door, trying to distance yourself from the tempting scent of Crewel's cologne. Your hand feebly attempts to cover your nose and mouth, and you shake your head no. "O-our potion," you stutter, "I think something went wrong".

Continuing to test your self control, Crewel stands and approaches you, assessing your vulnerable state. He presses the back of his hand to your forehead to feel for a fever. To your continued humiliation, a quiet whine escapes you at the contact. His eyes widened slightly, but he quickly dawns a mask of professionalism as he retracts his hand.

"I see. Well, as I mentioned in lecture, slight alterations in the potion's formula can trigger alternate pathways which are also mediated by endorphins. One such pathway is the arousal pathway. It would seem that significant enough errors were made that your potion activated your arousal pathway, rather than the intended pain relief pathway". He explains the error matter-of-factly, returning to his desk.

Your jaw dropped in disbelief. Arousal pathway? Doesn't the universe ever get tired of playing practical jokes on you? The persistent throbbing in your core sent the clear message that it doesn't. You groan, burying your face in your hands in an attempt to disappear from the face of the earth. "Can you undo it?"

"I'm afraid the only inhibitor of such endorphins is prolactin, the neurotransmitter released after orgasm. Unfortunately, we've yet to artificially synthesize an effective substitute. Otherwise, your body should metabolize the potion in eight hours." You were appreciative of Crewel's calm and even tone. Even if it didn't cure your current predicament, maybe you'll be able to look him in the eyes again someday.

Making the choice to not dig this hole even deeper, you gave him a grateful bow and quickly departed. Your mind was swimming as you made a beeline for Ramshackle, hoping to make it home before your knees started buckling. At last, you shut the door to your quiet dorm building. Your heart pounded in your ears, though if it was racing from the speed walking or the overwhelming arousal coursing through your blood, you weren't sure.

In any case, your options were to suffer for eight hours, or to get fucked. Well, you would be fucked either way. Your legs finally gave out by the time you had crawled to your bed and curled up on your side. The pillow trapped between your thighs did little to reduce the pressure that consumed every thought. As you stripped down to your underwear, your trembling fingers and raging heart made it very apparent that you weren't in any state to be able to take care of this yourself.

Several faces flashed through your mind, innocent encounters with your friends being quickly perverted in your brain. With less apprehension than was probably warranted, you pulled out your phone and opened your contacts. It wasn't an impressively long list, but nonetheless you quickly found the name you were looking for. The voice of reason in your head insisted that you would never live this down, but it was quickly gagged by the larger majority of your brain that was begging to be fucked.

With shaky hand, you pressed the call button.

A/n: if you missed the poll, I'm hoping to make this a series (no promises). Either way, the first victim will be Leona 😮‍💨

[marsmaladeee]

it's been a whole year since how to build an ocean: instructions by the one and only dirtbag boyband @bearsintreesofficial was released!!! how and what!!!!

as we approach the Next Era i wanted to do a drawing to commemorate everything that's happened in this one. this is maybe my biggest drawing ever and i've put a lot of thought into it and it has soooo many references to the past era in it!! so i'll explain all those under the cut :))

i love this album so so so much and i hope this drawing conveys even a little bit of that!!!

i took everything i knew about the themes of the album and tried to distill it into one piece. the band's mentioned that the album is themed around coming home, reconnecting with your hometown, feeling lost and not really knowing your place in the world. so they're stranded in the middle of the ocean on a boat and trying to navigate their way back home!! haha. it's based more directly on a line from idwba - "when i step onto that ferry, and the man demands his pay". initially i had the boatman charon in the drawing too, but i ended up taking him out as it was kind of confusing!

i wanted it to have a kind of whimsical, fantastical vibe so there's a tree growing out of the boat. why? just for funsies!! on a qna i asked what the band thought the biggest visual symbols from this era were, and they answered maps, the ocean and scrapbooky vibes, so i've given the ocean is a big feature in the drawing. that's what the album's named after!! . callum and george are reading through some maps (callum's are screenshots of croydon on google maps or OS maps of the croydon area, and george is holding the map from the album cover). for the scrapbook vibes i've made a version that looks a bit like a scrapbook page, and a regular version as well.

over on iain and nick's side there's the cake callum baked for the baby shower announcement stream. there's a vase full of daffodils like from that one photoshoot. there's the banner they used to announce ttllm on tiktok, dj l8 nite kitten's head from the iwfc mv, and iain's infamous jleeves. there's two books in front of nick: flights by olga tokarczuk, which the album is named after, and the myth of Sisyphus by albert camus, which is referenced in injured crow. iain is drinking coffee with a raven flying above them whilst nick drinks hot chocolate, and there's also a crow with a bandaged wing - an injured crow, if you will :)

beside callum and george there's the giant mechanical skull callum gave to george on stage, the wizard hat nick had on tour and the bubble gun from the seaside tour. there's also George Jr, the raccoon hand from the spill the beans challenges on the subathon, and the chillies which were also from the subathon. there's also a can of chickpeas. this one's a funny one because iain actually told me to put it there themself! not even a joke!! i asked for an object to put in the drawing and they said a vase (which holds the daffodils) and a chickpea. i drew a can of chickpeas instead because a singular chickpea kind of just got lost in the drawing.

on the back wall of the boat there's a number of engravings. behind nick there's a bike for cycling, jaded - a song that was meant to go onto htbaoi but never made it - and a line from your favourite coat which was used as a clue for the arg leading up to the album announcement (thanks to @asherapparently for sending me that!!). the engravings on the far right side are the lil ghost from the ttllm music video, and the boatman taken directly from the album cover. i mentioned before that i had to omit him from the drawing so i thought i'd pay homage to him here.

finally, there're paper aeroplanes from your favourite coat, confetti for all you get is confetti, and the sign says '463 miles', like the bus route mentioned in henry says. on the side of the boat are a number of photos taken from instagram & twitter posts from this era, and the symbols from the album cover and the back of the vinyl are engraved onto the side of the boat - each one representing a different song. the streamers tied to the tree are in all the colours of the album.

bears in trees if you see this - your album is beautiful and wonderful and i love it dearly!!!

[reomikagekin]

Can I request a Xeno x reader? I like to imagine Xeno being all shy and sweet to reader. I just love imagining evil characters that are lowkey psychotic to be so hopelessly in love with their partner/crush, just turning to absolute mush when it comes to them 😍

Like maybe the crush started when Xeno and stanley first met the reader as kids, and it was just love at first sight. So ever since then, Xeno has been trying to impress them with all his cool science facts and gadgets while stanley is giving him advice on how to woo you 🤭

Though stanley had enough of watching Xeno show off like a male bird trying to find a mate that he just pushes Xeno into us

“Xeno likes you”

Then he just runs away from the two hoping Xeno grows some balls to actually confess

Since Xeno is like PALE it just makes me giggle and kick my feet imagining him get all red on his cheeks, especially his forehead 🤭

When Xeno gets kidnapped, we also get kidnapped cuz we were like- right next to him when Tsukasa suddenly popped up from the floor. Just Xeno doing his evil monologue to senku on the boat but once we enter the room he’s just like “what makes you think stanley will give up so easily- oh darling! How wonderful it is to see you! How I love seeing your gorgeous face everyday 🥰”

Just this pic but instead we’re stanley 🤭🤭

Also sorry that this is so long 😔🙏

Elegant, Like You

THEN

It started when you were ten.

The first time you met Xeno, he was already wearing a white coat two sizes too big and spouting facts about bone density like a walking encyclopedia. You were just some curious kid tagging along with Stanley, poking around in the lab, asking what every button did.

Xeno had looked up from his experiment with wide eyes, mouth parted like he’d forgotten how to speak. He didn’t say hello. Instead, he blinked, took one long look at your face, and muttered:

“…Elegant.”

Stanley groaned behind you. “You can’t just call people elegant when you meet them, Xeno. That’s weird.”

“I wasn’t talking to them,” Xeno said faintly. “I meant their skull shape.”

You laughed. Stanley facepalmed. And Xeno fell in love.

From that day on, he was hooked.

He invented things just to show you. Magnets that could pull objects across a room, a telescope made from salvaged lenses, a little robot mouse that could follow a laser pointer. You clapped every time, beaming, saying things like “That’s so cool!” and “You’re a genius, Xeno!”

It short-circuited him every time.

Meanwhile, Stanley became an unwilling witness to what he called “the world’s weirdest mating ritual.”

“You look like a parrot trying to impress a mate with shiny trash,” Stanley muttered once after Xeno spent three days building a machine that played music using vibrating test tubes. “Just ask them out.”

“I can’t,” Xeno had said, deeply offended. “This is science. There’s a process.”

“Yeah, and you’re gonna be eighty before you hit Step Two.”

NOW

By the time you were adults, things hadn’t changed much.

Xeno was taller. Paler, somehow. Even more intense. But still hopelessly awkward around you.

He gave lectures to the others like a dictator giving his final speech, but the moment you entered the room, his tone would shift. Softer. Sweeter. Almost boyish.

You were sitting on a bench one evening, looking at the stars through a scope Xeno had upgraded just for you, when Stanley plopped down next to him with a sigh.

“You’re killing me.”

Xeno didn’t look away from you. “Excuse me?”

“Still doing the whole ‘I’m so smart, notice me’ thing. It’s painful, man. Just tell them.”

Xeno adjusted his gloves. “They’re not… they wouldn’t…”

Stanley groaned. “Oh, for—okay. Fine.”

You looked up when you heard footsteps pounding behind you. Stanley grabbed Xeno by the collar and shoved him forward—right in front of you.

“Xeno likes you,” he said bluntly.

Then turned and sprinted away like the lab was on fire.

Xeno stood there, frozen. His face turned crimson—not just his cheeks, but his whole damn forehead. You could practically see steam rising.

You blinked. “You… what?”

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again. “I… I… admire your cognitive flexibility… and your facial symmetry and—oh, god.”

He covered his face with one hand. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

You laughed. “Xeno,” you said gently, “I like you too.”

His hand fell away slowly.

“…You do?”

“I have since you tried to explain quantum mechanics to me using apples.”

“That was a poor analogy.”

“It was adorable.”

He swayed slightly. “This is… this is…”

“Elegant?” you offered with a grin.

His eyes went wide. Then he smiled—a real, boyish, melted smile. The one he always hid behind his intellect.

“Elegant,” he whispered. “Yes.”

LATER

You hadn’t meant to get kidnapped. One minute you were admiring the engines Xeno had repurposed for long-range travel; the next, Tsukasa rose from the damn ground like a horror movie villain and grabbed Xeno.

So naturally, when Tsukasa burst out of the ground like a damn mythological beast, you were right next to Xeno when it happened.

“Wait, what the—” you started.

Then you were both grabbed, tossed over shoulders like sacks of potatoes, and carried off at terrifying speed.

The moment you hit the boat, Xeno snapped back into villain mode. Tied up but furious, he ranted at Senku with the dramatic elegance of a stage actor.

You didn’t even think before lunging after him. One blow to the back of the head, and everything went black.

When you woke up, you were in a dim room on a ship. Tied, but not hurt. And you weren’t alone.

You heard a voice in the next room, lecturing someone. Sharp, arrogant, in control.

“…so you see, Senku, your ragtag band of merry science enthusiasts stands no chance. Stanley will not surrender. He is surgical. Precise. We are not playing with rocks and steam engines. We—”

The door opened. You were pushed inside.

“—oh darling!”

Xeno forgot mid-monologue that he was in the middle of threatening Senku.

You blinked at him. “Hey.”

“Are you hurt? Oh god, did they bind your wrists too tight? You animals!” he snapped at the guards. “Do you not understand the fragility of such elegant bone structure—”

Senku stared, deadpan.

Gen muttered, “Oh, he’s whipped.”

Xeno rushed to you, brushing hair from your face with gloved fingers. “You’re here. You’re really here. Oh, your face—how I’ve missed it.”

You gave him a look. “You saw me literally five minutes before we got kidnapped.”

“Still too long.”

“You were giving a speech about global domination.”

He waved a hand. “That was before you entered the room. Now it’s about making sure you’re warm. Are you cold? I’ll give you my coat.”

Gen raised an eyebrow. “Did we just switch genres mid-plot?”

Senku leaned on the desk. “Xeno, we’re still technically enemies.”

“Sure, sure,” Xeno said absentmindedly, tucking your blanket tighter around your shoulders. “Enemies. But this one,” he said, looking at you like you were a star, “this one is everything.”

You sighed, smiling softly. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re the most radiant thing in this dull world,” he said with a reverent kind of affection, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Let them take the science. Let them take the war. But you—no one takes you from me.”

The room went quiet.

Even Senku looked mildly uncomfortable.

Stanley, somewhere back on land, was shaking his head.

“At least he finally confessed,” he muttered, sipping his coffee. “Took him long enough.”

[hello-gloomy]

Can we get one with reader who was Senkus science teacher. Maybe she tried out to be a NASA scientist but decided to become a teacher instead and that's how she met Senku. Xeno meets reader and recognising them from NASA. But she has no clue who he is as they had only a brief meeting once.

Lol I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to socially torture Xeno. Sorry this took a bit to answer and I apologize if it's short.

-------------------

I'm Sorry Who?

Xeno x Fem!reader

Description: A fellow scientist from the past recognizes you, but you don't recognize him. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: pitiful Xeno, cursing, sex joke at the end, kind of creep Xeno in readers perspective lol.

A/N: I love pathetic Xeno, like my fave genre of man

Words: 627

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Senku and the rest of his gaggle were finishing negotiations in the castle with the American colony, and you decided to stay on the ship to finish up with some new weaponry for the boat. You were drawing up plans to fit on classic cannons or hand-held harpoons for the crew to practice and use. You heard the door open behind you but decided not to turn around as it was probably just Suika or Chrome looking for something or wanting to find a new experiment to entertain themselves with.

"Quite the elegant schematic, Ms. (Last Name)." A Southern-sounding voice said a foot beside you; you screw up your face at the interruption to your work and shoot a nasty glare to your interrupter. You give him a once-over and continue to side-eye him while turning back to pretend to continue to work. You give him an uninterested hum and try to remember where he's from, as he knows you. You're hoping he's not some weird coworker from the old world. That is the last thing you want to deal with right now.

"Shouldn't you have supervision with you to be down here." You tell him harshly, and the sparkle in his eyes drops slightly at your cold tone. He clears his throat and moves out of your way when you get up, moving to grab more paper and start the following blueprints.

"Ah-Senku thought it would be alright for me to come down here alone as a testament to good faith." He tells you, letting the last part fall quietly from his lips, hoping not to upset you further. You roll your eyes and shove out another chair for him to sit at before returning to your own. He watches you quietly, and it gets unnerving having his void-like eyes watching your every movement. It ends up being enough for you, and you drop your pencil with a loud sigh and turn to face him.

"Do I know you?" you ask him curtly. He bites his bottom lip slightly and then responds.

"You were one of the main speech holders for the annual NASA expo in Texas in 2020." He tells you while rubbing his clawed hands together.

"Still not ringing a bell, I worked at NASA for a year or two, maybe, and it was horrible, so I just took a job opportunity in Japan." You inform, your lips forming into a thin line. You're starting to feel bad; he seemed happy to see you, and you didn't even recognize him. He looks like he should be recognizable, with pretty black puppy eyes, pale skin, and snow-white hair. He was cute to look at; you sigh and rub your head before deciding.

"How about we start fresh? I'm (Name) (Last Name). You are?" You ask him a bit more gently this time. His shoulders drop, relaxing, and he smiles slightly at you, taking your hand and kissing it before telling you his name.

"Xeno Houston Wingfield." The two of you spend the latter half of the day conversing and sharing your stories of your shared time at NASA. He asks about your time in Japan, and you tell him of how you met and taught Senku and how you have been with him since he broke out of stone.

"Hey, Teach, it's time for lunch. You gonna eat or-" Senku interrupts the two of you, and Xeno backs away from you as subtly as he can; Senku makes a face at you both, and you brush him off, getting up to go and eat.

"We can eat here, Doc; I'll grab us both plates. You can stay here, and I'll be back." The door shuts, and the room is silent.

"Don't fuck my teacher, bro."

"Senku!"

[lkfarrout]

I need everyone to understand that Stan and Mabel are SMART. Ford and Dipper are often portrayed as the smart ones while Stan and Mabel are the "stupid twins" but here's the thing: Stan and Mabel are just as intelligent as their twins, they just care about different things.

Alex himself, in one of the episode commentaries (Little Dipper, I believe) says that Mabel is just as smart, if not smarter than Dipper, and could beat him at chess if she wanted to. But she cares more about playing pretend with the cute horses instead.

Mabel is also a genuis when it comes to crafting. If you've never done something like knitting before, you have no idea how hard it is and how impressive it is for Mabel to make all the sweaters and things that she does. Maybe not all her sweaters are handmade, but the Waddles sweater and Goodbye Stan sweater are crazy impressive on their own. There's also Wax Stan, all the puppets, and many other examples. Those types of things take a lot of planning, math, practice, and expertise.

Stan is portrayed as being lazy and dumb in high school because he copies off of Ford in class and has a very lame science fair project compared to Ford, but Stan shows ambition in other areas during that time of his life.

For one, he builds what we can assume to be a sea-worthy vessel out of basically scraps of old wood ("Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!"). I personally don't know anyone - much less a teenager - who could do that, especially in a time before youtube. And while Ford definitely did help Stan with the boat, we can tell by their feelings about it that Stan really did put in most of the work and care.

Another example, and a more subtle one, is that Stan was able to save up and purchase a nice, new (7 or 8 years old at the most) convertible catillac by the age of seventeen. He probably spent a lot of time working outside of school to accomplish that, while Ford was more focused on work inside of school. It's highly doubtful that Filbrick would have bought the car for Stan. Stan was highly ambitious during this time in his life, just like Ford was, but in different areas.

In the Land Before Swine commentary, Stan talks about working on the portal and says he had to learn "high school math". He really thought that what he was doing all that time was high school level math when really, it was probably closer to masters-level theoretical physics. This tells me that he probably didn't struggle with the math parts all that much, and because it wasn't super hard for him, he assumed it must have been high school level because he's far too dumb to do anything harder than that. Yes, it still took him 30 years, but that's mostly due to him not having access to all the blueprints that Bill helped Ford create.

All in all, I believe that Stan and Mabel are just as smart as their twins, but it isn't picked up on because the areas that they like to focus on are seen as silly and girly (in Mabel's case) or unprofitable and a waste of time (in Stan's case). In constrast, Dipper's intellectual efforts of solving mysteries, cracking codes, and doing things like converting a CD into a record (impressive!) further the plot of the show and are thus seen as more important. Just like how Ford's academic efforts are seen as profitable and thus more worthy of praise.

I'm of course not saying that Stan and Mabel are better than Dipper and Ford in any way - all the characters have their strengths and weaknesses and I love that about them. I love all four of the Pines Twins so much - they all have so much to offer and are all so smart. I really love this show and they way it creates depth with the characters, and I love analyzing them and writing commentary on them.

[nameless-jamie]

The Handshake

A Jamie Tartt Short Story/Imagine

Masterlist

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x fem!personal assistant reader

Y/N had survived a lot of ridiculous things in her job as Jamie Tartt’s personal assistant.

She had talked him out of buying a yacht named The Tartt Attack despite him having exactly zero experience with boats. She had convinced the club’s PR team that Jamie calling Erling Haaland “just a bit alright” in an interview wasn’t meant to be an insult. She had even—on one particularly insane occasion—stood outside a bakery at six in the morning just to make sure Jamie got the exact croissant he wanted before training.

But this?

This secret handshake nonsense?

This was next level.

It had started off harmless. A silly, one-off thing. A joke between them that should’ve been forgotten within a day.

The first time it happened, they were standing outside the training room, waiting for the team meeting to start. Jamie had just cracked some dumb joke about Dani’s obsession with animals, and Y/N, in a rare moment of ridiculousness, held up a hand for a high-five.

But Jamie, being Jamie, had to make it extra. He added an unnecessary spin, pointed finger guns at her, and then snapped his fingers like he was finishing off a magic trick.

It was one of those stupid, fleeting things that should’ve died after the first time they did it.

Except Jamie was Jamie, which meant once he decided something was fun, it became an everyday event.

And Y/N—who was supposed to be the responsible one—was absolutely, completely gone for him and had learned the routine religiously.

So of course she went along with it. And just like that, the handshake was born.

Now, it was a thing.

Every morning when Jamie strolled into Nelson Road, Y/N was already waiting by the entrance, coffee in one hand, the other raised expectantly.

Jamie, grinning like an idiot, would immediately launch into the routine.

High-five. Spin. Finger guns. Snap.

It didn’t matter that it was completely ridiculous. It didn’t matter that people stared. It didn’t even matter that Roy had, on multiple occasions, looked like he wanted to strangle them both.

What mattered was that they had it down to a science.

And every time Roy groaned like he wanted to throw himself into oncoming traffic, it only made it better.

“Oi,” Roy grumbled one morning as he watched them go through the whole thing for the third time that day. “What the fuck is that?”

“Our secret handshake,” Jamie said proudly, like a kid showing off a macaroni craft.

Roy’s eye twitched. “Why the fuck do you need a secret handshake?”

Jamie just shrugged. “’Cause we’re cool.”

Y/N, completely straight-faced, added, “And you’re just jealous.”

Roy made a noise that could only be described as a growl.

Ted, who had walked in just in time to witness the entire ordeal, put his hands on his hips. “You know, I had a handshake like that back in my coaching days at Wichita State. Only it involved a lot more lasso motions and a yee-haw at the end.”

Jamie looked at Y/N like she had just personally betrayed him. “We shoulda added a yee-haw.”

Y/N gave him an exaggerated look of consideration. “Hmm. Maybe next season.”

Jamie pouted.

Ted chuckled at their antics, loving their whole dynamic. “You two got that whole routine down, huh?”

Jamie beamed. “Best handshake in the Prem.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if you two start trendin’,” Ted mused.

Jamie turned to Y/N, his face lighting up. “Oh, we have to go viral.”

Y/N sighed, already knowing she’d be the one handling whatever PR disaster came out of this. “Jamie, we are not—”

“We have to,” Jamie insisted, practically vibrating with excitement. “I’m gonna do it in a match.”

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. “Jamie.”

Roy groaned. “I fucking hate this.”

Which, naturally, only made Jamie want to do it more.

And it was too late. The idea was planted.

And Jamie Tartt, once he got an idea, was unstoppable.

It happened in the next game against West Ham.

Jamie had just pulled off a beautiful assist to Dani. Instead of celebrating with his teammates, he sprinted toward the sidelines—straight toward Y/N who stood next to Will, the kitman.

Before she could even react, he held up a hand.

Y/N didn’t even hesitate.

High-five. Spin. Finger guns. Snap.

It was so perfectly executed, so stupidly dramatic, that the whole stadium actually went silent for a second.

Then, chaos.

The commentators were laughing. The West Ham players looked confused. Roy, watching from the dugout, looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. The team just cheered them on.

The clip went viral everywhere.

— @footyboyafc: nah bc WHAT is Jamie Tartt doing mid-match 💀💀💀 — @afcrichmondfanclub: petition for EVERY Richmond player to learn this handshake 👏👏👏 — @spicytartt: idc idc idc I know what this means I know what this means THEY’RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR —

By the time the game ended, Y/N couldn’t even open her phone without seeing some over-the-top edit of their handshake set to unnecessarily romantic music.

Jamie, of course, loved it.

“They think we’re in love Jamie,” Y/N told him later, holding up her phone with an exaggerated glare.

Jamie smirked. “Yeah? Can’t blame ‘em.”

She rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile. “You’re impossible.”

“Nah,” Jamie said, nudging her shoulder. “Just cool.”

Y/N snorted. “Right. That’s definitely what people think.”

Jamie grinned. “Jealous ‘cause we’re cool, mate.”

[bitchface24-7]

Can we do angst with Viktor x Vastaya reader since they're long lived?

PSST PSST PSST - VIKTOR X READER

synopsis: you've known Viktor ever since you two were kids, and you've always known deep down that you'd never get enough time with him. Even without the grey plaguing his lungs, you're a vastaya; you live much longer than a healthy human. Never mind a chronically ill one. You'll either help Viktor find a cure, or you'll ensure you die with him.

warnings: talks of illness/death, passive suicidal ideation (you don't have a plan, it's a what-if kinda deal), love confessions, childhood friends to lovers, Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/f or m/m

p.s. I'm so sorry, I’m not sure if I could just write pure angst (my babies already been through ENOUGH) so I made it a little fluffy to help my hurt heart. Hope y'all enjoy!

You remember the day you met Viktor like it was yesterday. He was by a ravine, fiddling with a toy boat. He was alone, and so were you.

The kids in Zaun were just as cruel as the adults could be. They didn't like Viktor due to his weak leg, they didn't like you due to the fact you weren't human. So you decided to be brave and introduce yourself to the boy.

He was apprehensive at first, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you. But after a minute of friendly discussion, his demeanour softened. It completely melted when you asked him how he built his boat, with sparkles in your eyes as you were invested in his explanation.

After a while, he introduces himself, “My name is Viktor… what’s yours?”

You smile and give him your name. Viktor nods before his lips thin and he looks a bit weary again, “Are you sure you want to be friends with me? I’m sick.”

You throw his question back at him, “Are you sure you want to be friends with me? I'm not even human.”

Viktor giggles, “I’ve always liked cats.” He lightly pokes one of your ears and you play along, flicking your ear in mock irritation to hear his giggle again.

“And I don't care that you're sick. We’ll find a way to make you better.”

Viktor's eyes sparkle as he looks at you, and with that; the start of a wonderful friendship is born.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The years go by and Viktor's illness progresses slowly. Some years it stays stagnated, in others it progresses rapidly.

And you're there for every second of it.

While Viktor works away in a lab with his partner Jayce trying to improve the world in the one way he's confident in, through science; you work at a small but well-known boutique in Piltover. The academy is most notably known for their STEM programs, but there's a multitude of others to choose from. Architecture, anthropology, culinary, mixology, english, politics, cosmetology. You name it, the academy has it. So you chose fashion design.

The only reason you've even been given this opportunity is because of Viktor. Heimerdinger was desperate to make Viktor his protege, but Viktor had one demand. You'd be able to come with him.

Heimerdinger couldn't refuse.

So it’s no surprise when you get a call at work and damn near drop the phone in a panic. It’s a clinic, Viktor’s their patient, he fainted, you're his emergency contact on file, he wants to see you.

Your co-worker can already tell something is wrong and ushers you to leave. “I can hold the shop down no problem. Go deal with your emergency.”

You thank her profusely as you rush to the clinic, your hind legs much stronger than a humans; you get there in half the time.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Viktor looks so small in the bed. A nasal cannula in his nose giving him a steady stream of light oxygen. His skin is even paler and he has a smidge of dried blood on the philtrum below his nose.

You grab a moist towlette and go to clean the blood with a small, “How’re you feeling?”

A small chuckle escapes the man before a coughing fit erupts from his chest. You hastily bring over his cup of water and help him drink it, not wanting him to get his hospital gown wet.

“I’m doing better than I was about an hour ago. I finally convinced Jayce to go home to sleep.”

Your ear flicks in annoyance as your eyebrows furrow, “How long have you been here?”

Viktor purses his lips and looks away from you.

“Viktor.”

“A few hours.”

“What! And I'm just getting called now?! Viktor!”

“If I had it my way, you wouldn't have been called at all!”

You reel back at that, you can feel your eyes stinging.

“The nurse said you wanted to see me.”

Viktor sighs, relaxing back into the bed as best he can, “I did, I do want to see you. But I don't want you to see me like this.”

“Tired?”

“Dying.”

The look of resignation on Viktors face pulls at your heartstrings. He looks so downtrodden. So tired.

You cup one of Viktor's hands in your own, “You said that you and Jayce found something with the hexcore. Maybe that's the key! It saved that plant, it could save you too.”

Viktor sighs, “I don't know why you've stuck by my side for so long. I'll be nothing more than a blip in your lifetime. An insignificant speck in your story.”

The grip you have on Viktor's hand tightens, “Because you're my best friend and I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You smile lightly and shake your head, “No Viktor, I love you. I'd rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. Who cares if my lifespan is longer than yours? You act like I won't follow you. Like I wouldn't fight all the gods to get you back. And if that wasn't an option, we’d be together forever in the cosmos. It’s you and me, together and always.”

Viktor sits there stunned as you look at him with all the love you have tucked away in your heart, and it’s quite a lot.

You shuffle slightly on the wooden chair, you feel like you're going to throw up due to the nerves, “…Are you going to say something?”

But Viktor isn't a talker, he's a doer. So he shows you the best way he can.

He leans forward and kisses you. It's the most passionate, loving, all-consuming kiss you've ever experienced. When the two of you eventually pull away, you're left speechless and you swear your eyes have hearts in them. You know for a fact your pupils that are typically slits are completely blown out now.

A purr encapsulates the room and Viktor smugly cozies himself back into his bed. You feel your face heat up as you hold yourself back from throttling him. Purring is very special. Very few people get to hear a vastaya purr, and once Viktor heard about the specialty and connected the dots on how often you purred around him, he made it a game to see how quickly he could get you to make that wonderful sound.

This is the quickest way by far.

“Have I ever told you how much I like cats?”

You smile fondly at the man, cupping his face with one of your hands, “Once, the day we met.”

Viktor hums, “You’ll be hearing me say it a lot more now.”

A loud laugh escapes you and Viktor looks at you with nothing but love.

“Do I have any competition with the stray cat you feed by our apartment?”

“No. Blitzcrank is a menace, he’s more like our sucky child. You’re my favourite.”

You huff at him as your purrs pick up in volume, the kiss you plant on his cheek is full of possessiveness, “I better be.”

“You are, darling. You are.”

Tadaaaa!!! This idea was so *chefs kiss* it’s a very interesting dynamic I never would’ve thought of myself. If you saw the LoTR reference, no you didn’t. Hope y’all enjoy!

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Trey Clover - Room Relaxation Voice Lines

I don't need anything special just because it's my birthday. I'll be happy just spending it peacefully as ever.

Summon: Living in a dorm is always lively and enjoyable, but that's what makes my alone time even more precious. I wonder what I should do tonight?

Groovification: Today's my birthday... So just let me sleep in a bit more.

Home: Guess I'll head to sleep.

Swap Looks: Can't forget to brush your teeth before sleeping and after waking up.

Home Transition 1: Whew... Oh, oops, I zoned out there for a bit. Time flies when you're not paying attention, huh. Guess I'll brew some coffee.

Home Transition 2: It's always good to have a light top layer handy. It's pretty useful to quickly throw on whenever I need to stay up a little late.

Home Transition 3: Jamil's present was a hot eye mask. I really like how soothing it is. He really gave me something nice.

Home Transition - Login: It might be fun to make my own birthday cake, sure... But there'll be so many sweets at the party that it could be too much to try to eat.

Home Transition - Groovy: I was shocked when Silver gave away that Riddle was planning a surprise for me. The fact that he didn't even seem to have revealed it with ill will is a problem in and of itself...

Home Tap 1: I'm starting to feel a little peckish... No, I shouldn't. I definitely don't want to doze off and wake up without having brushed my teeth, so.

Home Tap 2: I got a notif of a new video. Oh, they're making a boat out of chocolate, huh. This pâtissier sure is something, as always.

Home Tap 3: I received some oil from Ortho, and I'll admit, I did tense up a bit... But when I checked, I was relieved to see it was just olive oil for cooking.

Home Tap 4: I wasn't expecting Sebek to wish me a happy birthday. His tone was arrogant, as always, but maybe he's actually a conscientious guy...?

Home Tap 5: I seem different from usual? I don't think I'm doing anything different... Ah, maybe it's because I'm not wearing my glasses?

Home Tap - Groovy: How do I spend time when I'm in my room? I don't really do anything too special... Although honestly, I'm actually not a morning person, so I just try not to stay up too late.

Duo: [TREY]: Thanks for the earnest well wishes, Silver. [SILVER]: I wish you the very best, Trey-senpai.

Birthday Login Message: You're here for my birthday, huh? And this present... Oh, it's honey! Thanks! It's useful and honestly, easy to comprehend. What I mean is, we had a Science Club meeting today, and... Well, while the club members were wishing me a happy birthday, Rook gave me something. Look at this. According to Rook, it's a "wondrously beautiful clover," but... Is there any difference from a regular clover? I don't really get it... What about you? If you can figure out the difference, let me know on the down low.

Requested by @farfalla49 and @sakurakudo.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Brave Little Toaster

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.

The AI bubble is the new crypto bubble: you can tell because the same people are behind it, and they're doing the same thing with AI as they did with crypto – trying desperately to find a use case to cram it into, despite the yawning indifference and outright hostility of the users:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way

This week on the excellent Trashfuture podcast, the regulars – joined by 404 Media's Jason Koebler – have a hilarious – as in, I was wheezing with laughter! – riff on this year's CES, where companies are demoing home appliances with LLMs built in:

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hgi6c-179b908

Why would you need a chatbot in your dishwasher? As it turns out, there's a credulous, Poe's-law-grade Forbes article that lays out the (incredibly stupid) case for this (incredibly stupid) idea:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2024/03/29/generative-ai-is-coming-to-your-home-appliances/

As the Trashfuturians mapped out this new apex of the AI hype cycle, I found myself thinking of a short story I wrote 15 years ago, satirizing the "Internet of Things" hype we were mired in. It's called "The Brave Little Toaster", and it was published in MIT Tech Review's TRSF anthology in 2011:

http://bestsf.net/trsf-the-best-new-science-fiction-technology-review-2011/

The story was meant to poke fun at the preposterous IoT hype of the day, and I recall thinking that creating a world of talking appliance was the height of Philip K Dickist absurdism. Little did I dream that a decade and a half later, the story would be even more relevant, thanks to AI pump-and-dumpers who sweatily jammed chatbots into kitchen appliances.

So I figured I'd republish The Brave Little Toaster; it's been reprinted here and there since (there's a high school English textbook that included it, along with a bunch of pretty fun exercises for students), and I podcasted it back in the day:

https://ia803103.us.archive.org/35/items/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_212/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_212_Brave_Little_Toaster.mp3

A word about the title of this story. It should sound familiar – I nicked it from a brilliant story by Tom Disch that was made into a very weird cartoon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8C_JaT8Lvg

My story is one of several I wrote by stealing the titles of other stories and riffing on them; they were very successful, winning several awards, getting widely translated and reprinted, and so on:

https://locusmag.com/2012/05/cory-doctorow-a-prose-by-any-other-name/

All right, on to the story!

One day, Mister Toussaint came home to find an extra 300 euros' worth of groceries on his doorstep. So he called up Miz Rousseau, the grocer, and said, "Why have you sent me all this food? My fridge is already full of delicious things. I don't need this stuff and besides, I can't pay for it."

But Miz Rousseau told him that he had ordered the food. His refrigerator had sent in the list, and she had the signed order to prove it.

Furious, Mister Toussaint confronted his refrigerator. It was mysteriously empty, even though it had been full that morning. Or rather, it was almost empty: there was a single pouch of energy drink sitting on a shelf in the back. He'd gotten it from an enthusiastically smiling young woman on the metro platform the day before. She'd been giving them to everyone.

"Why did you throw away all my food?" he demanded. The refrigerator hummed smugly at him.

"It was spoiled," it said.

#

But the food hadn't been spoiled. Mister Toussaint pored over his refrigerator's diagnostics and logfiles, and soon enough, he had the answer. It was the energy beverage, of course.

"Row, row, row your boat," it sang. "Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I'm offgassing ethelyne." Mister Toussaint sniffed the pouch suspiciously.

"No you're not," he said. The label said that the drink was called LOONY GOONY and it promised ONE TRILLION TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN ESPRESSO!!!!!ONE11! Mister Toussaint began to suspect that the pouch was some kind of stupid Internet of Things prank. He hated those.

He chucked the pouch in the rubbish can and put his new groceries away.

#

The next day, Mister Toussaint came home and discovered that the overflowing rubbish was still sitting in its little bag under the sink. The can had not cycled it through the trapdoor to the chute that ran to the big collection-point at ground level, 104 storeys below.

"Why haven't you emptied yourself?" he demanded. The trashcan told him that toxic substances had to be manually sorted. "What toxic substances?"

So he took out everything in the bin, one piece at a time. You've probably guessed what the trouble was.

"Excuse me if I'm chattery, I do not mean to nattery, but I'm a mercury battery!" LOONY GOONY's singing voice really got on Mister Toussaint's nerves.

"No you're not," Mister Toussaint said.

#

Mister Toussaint tried the microwave. Even the cleverest squeezy-pouch couldn't survive a good nuking. But the microwave wouldn't switch on. "I'm no drink and I'm no meal," LOONY GOONY sang. "I'm a ferrous lump of steel!"

The dishwasher wouldn't wash it ("I don't mean to annoy or chafe, but I'm simply not dishwasher safe!"). The toilet wouldn't flush it ("I don't belong in the bog, because down there I'm sure to clog!"). The windows wouldn't retract their safety screen to let it drop, but that wasn't much of a surprise.

"I hate you," Mister Toussaint said to LOONY GOONY, and he stuck it in his coat pocket. He'd throw it out in a trash-can on the way to work.

#

They arrested Mister Toussaint at the 678th Street station. They were waiting for him on the platform, and they cuffed him just as soon as he stepped off the train. The entire station had been evacuated and the police wore full biohazard containment gear. They'd even shrinkwrapped their machine-guns.

"You'd better wear a breather and you'd better wear a hat, I'm a vial of terrible deadly hazmat," LOONY GOONY sang.

When they released Mister Toussaint the next day, they made him take LOONY GOONY home with him. There were lots more people with LOONY GOONYs to process.

#

Mister Toussaint paid the rush-rush fee that the storage depot charged to send over his container. They forklifted it out of the giant warehouse under the desert and zipped it straight to the cargo-bay in Mister Toussaint's building. He put on old, stupid clothes and clipped some lights to his glasses and started sorting.

Most of the things in container were stupid. He'd been throwing away stupid stuff all his life, because the smart stuff was just so much easier. But then his grandpa had died and they'd cleaned out his little room at the pensioner's ward and he'd just shoved it all in the container and sent it out the desert.

From time to time, he'd thought of the eight cubic meters of stupidity he'd inherited and sighed a put-upon sigh. He'd loved Grandpa, but he wished the old man had used some of the ample spare time from the tail end of his life to replace his junk with stuff that could more gracefully reintegrate with the materials stream.

How inconsiderate!

#

The house chattered enthusiastically at the toaster when he plugged it in, but the toaster said nothing back. It couldn't. It was stupid. Its bread-slots were crusted over with carbon residue and it dribbled crumbs from the ill-fitting tray beneath it. It had been designed and built by cavemen who hadn't ever considered the advantages of networked environments.

It was stupid, but it was brave. It would do anything Mister Toussaint asked it to do.

"It's getting hot and sticky and I'm not playing any games, you'd better get me out before I burst into flames!" LOONY GOONY sang loudly, but the toaster ignored it.

"I don't mean to endanger your abode, but if you don't let me out, I'm going to explode!" The smart appliances chattered nervously at one another, but the brave little toaster said nothing as Mister Toussaint depressed its lever again.

"You'd better get out and save your ass, before I start leaking poison gas!" LOONY GOONY's voice was panicky. Mister Toussaint smiled and depressed the lever.

Just as he did, he thought to check in with the flat's diagnostics. Just in time, too! Its quorum-sensors were redlining as it listened in on the appliances' consternation. Mister Toussaint unplugged the fridge and the microwave and the dishwasher.

The cooker and trash-can were hard-wired, but they didn't represent a quorum.

#

The fire department took away the melted toaster and used their axes to knock huge, vindictive holes in Mister Toussaint's walls. "Just looking for embers," they claimed. But he knew that they were pissed off because there was simply no good excuse for sticking a pouch of independently powered computation and sensors and transmitters into an antique toaster and pushing down the lever until oily, toxic smoke filled the whole 104th floor.

Mister Toussaint's neighbors weren't happy about it either.

But Mister Toussaint didn't mind. It had all been worth it, just to hear LOONY GOONY beg and weep for its life as its edges curled up and blackened.

He argued mightily, but the firefighters refused to let him keep the toaster.

#

If you enjoyed that and would like to read more of my fiction, may I suggest that you pre-order my next novel as a print book, ebook or audiobook, via the Kickstarter I launched yesterday?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/picks-and-shovels-marty-hench-at-the-dawn-of-enshittification?ref=created_projects

Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/08/sirius-cybernetics-corporation/#chatterbox

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[elodieunderglass]

Re: your tags on the fungus and petrochemicals:

Excuse me, bramble wine? That sounds absolutely divine, how lucky you are! I hope you enjoyed it (and that I get to make/taste this one day)

(In reference to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/757191605386084352/oh-heavens-im-sorry-i-dont-remember-this-at I had to apologise for not being especially coherent in my response to an extraordinarily kind and friendly person as I was several days into a group camping, and had touched too much grass to be coherent, setting aside the bramble wine.)

The camping expedition consisted of seven+ families with children who all know each other extremely well and are growing up in a feral pack together that averages about 30 members. The pack forms at the conjunction of any five children, and therefore often exists in multiple places at once; a mini version can be assembled from as few as two of the core families, but when you have seven of the core, the pack becomes its own entity. For example, exhibiting a fascinating reflection of the hunting behavior of ancestral humans, ten of them together once managed to stalk, hunt and bring down a dragon costume performer at a local festival and sit on it in a few seconds when the adults weren’t looking. They had the light of the hunt in their eyes and they were GOING to have that dragon. Anyway this is not conducive to clear and accurate science communication at the best of times, especially since the usual reason that the pack manages to slip the leash is because the grownups are ordering pints.

For this camping expedition there was one family I didn’t know, but they live on a boat and we could vibe. They were the ones who brought the bramble wine. They were the people who sometimes evolve into Whiskey Hamishes. The bramble wine was made from foraged blackberries, and had been stored in a box on the roof of the boat (so essentially: outside) since 2019. The bottles were covered in rotten leaves and spiderwebs. This is not how you usually treat wine. Even home-brew. Even hedgerow. This is a recipe for converting free materials into as much alcohol as possible without interference.

The wine itself was similar to dark port, very heavy and thick, headachy around the edges. The alcohol percentage was estimated in the double digits. It is hard to explain but the dark black-purple color had no red in it. It was like ink.

Then, after coming into your campsite and kicking most of the party around lightly, it kissed you on the mouth one last time with a mouthful of blackberries and wandered off.

I’ve never had a hangover (hobbit liver) but I didn’t spend much time in dalliance with it. a lot of dads were pretty flat the next morning, but, to be completely fair to them, they DID rouse themselves to take the kids swimming in the river, where they (the dads) laid around recovering like beautiful crocodiles. Thus, all they had to do was lie in the cool mud while children rolled over them like puppies.

Bramble wine!

[thefusioncelestial]

Mix 3: One Path, One Us.

Look at me:

You would think I am some teenager still in high school. I am 22, about to graduate university. I am old enough to drink, but I get carded every time. Can't do adult stuff without second looks. Girls won't date me because they think I am a kid, and no one understandably wants to risk that. The short stature & lack of facial or body hair doesn't work either. Puberty is finishing up soon if not already. Constantly going to the gym just kept me cut. What am I going to do? Am I going to be stuck like this like those baby faced actors like Tom Holland?

"Bro, you okay?" A voice loudly echoed. It was my best friend Jason. He was in a similar boat as me but as least he was tall. I am 5'5 and him 6'3. If only I could snatch that from him. A tall baby faced actor who stayed in shape would do gang busters in Hollywood.

"Diego, SNAP OUT OF IT". he boomed. Luckily the dorms were mostly empty during the day, so he alerted no one but me. I quickly rise out of my mental funk. Why did I get into such a negative Nancy mood? Oh yeah, because Jason said he had a solution, like he did every month since the moment we stepped into university. We grew up together, same neighborhood, born in the same year 3 months apart. Our fathers thought we were dating at some point, but were just close like blood brothers. So what is his hair brained idea this time? I hope he isn't going to suggest steroids or something he cooked up in chemistry. He's a top student among the chemistry department, but he decided to not pair that up with a human body science like major like Sports Medicine or Pre Med.

"Sorry, so what is failed solution #2312?", I quipped sarcastically.

He frowned at me and then rolled his eyes. He whispered to himself after turning around, "It will be forever if it works, hopefully whatever we become will be a more positive person."

"Stop talking to yourself, how your butter face ass has a better dating life than me is beyond reason."

"It's called confidence & a positive attitude. But before this day is over, you will see my side of things...and I yours."

He went to a small brown box on a dresser and pulled out an bead necklace. "We put this on & let the magic work. If this works, we will be reborn...literally as one."

I was dumbfounded, his answer was a magic item he probably found on clearance at some costume shop? The suggestion of magic from a chemist. Chemistry was born from Alchemy by removing the superstitious & supernatural elements from the field. Now here is one Chemist suggesting going back to magic. Where is he hiding the chemicals, because I am sure he is pulling my chain.

"Are you high?"

"What! No!"

"You are suggesting we rely on something with no concrete evidence, like magic, for its existence for our solutions. You know what, explain and I might go with your voodoo."

"Its not African magic, it's German, call it Zauberei or Greek so maybe Mageía." He said in an upbeat but serious tone.

"I'll call it The Hot Nuts of Alabama if it works. Again, explain."

He pulled out an old brown leather book from within the drawer where the same box was resting on. He turned and walked towards me and gave it to me.

"What is this?," I asked.

"Evidence of what I am going to say, future Nuclear Physicist. Yeah I know the truth, you got an offer from NASA. Guess what, so did I. We are stuck together for life, lets make that for real."

Whatever, I thought, we grow old together nothing new. Though if his offer was like mine, he will have to stay for grad school. They want mastery, not just knowledge, of the subject.

"Go on."

"You know how Royal families around the world tend to inbreed? Cousins to cousins, neice to Uncle, ect.?"

"Yeah."

"Well for all tense & purposes, they should have died out, like the Spanish Haspburgs did. But suddenly, they are everywhere now. Clean mostly of genetic disease, and looking run way ready in some cases. Their solution was fusion."

"Was what?"

"They merged with others. Assimilate a few unknown servants or knights that history didn't record & they slowly repaired themselves."

"So they gobbled other people up and kept it in the family still."

"Yep, in some cases they were incredulous about it like you and refused the procedure. The Spanish Hasburgs said no because they feared it was devilry, the British were mixed, they got back on board after Queen Victoria's generation."

"Where did this "procedure originate from?"

"Greece. Look up the story of Hermaphroditus afterwards if this fails. Pretty boy like us merged with a Naiad named Salmacis. They merged in a pool of water, and that pool became a fountain, reportedly still had the power to merge things. At first they just mixed animals for sport, but soon generals & politicians were merging to create someone more effective. Once Rome conquered Greece, you start to see an uptick in "warrior poets" and military generals who can talk their way out of an 5 v 1."

"What, we got to go to Greece and bath together? Wait, you want to merge with me?," I asked in confusion.

"Yes, and no. Well Yes, I want to merge, and no we do not need to go to Greece, but if we merge, we can go take a trip down there as thanks."

I am dumbfounded at what I am hearing. I open the book and see an listing of royals & nobles who merged with others or proposed mergers that never came to be. I go to the Tudor England section and see that Henry VIII was going to assimilate Charles Brandon, but that failed after Brandon secretly married his sister Mary. There were a host of knights who lined up afterwards, but he never settled on a choice.

I see a section for France, Charles the Mad went mad after doing the procedure with the court fool. There was a slew of witch hunts after that in France. Not tried again until Louis XIV, who used it to extend his lifespan.

"There is one problem."

"What?"

"These mergers were one sided. One person stole traits from the other and walked the earth as themselves. Are you trying to gobble me up?"

"No.

"Admit it, you want my beautiful face."

"And you want my height. "

We both burst out in laughter. Will this work? Am I going mad? He is rich enough to commission a work like this after all.

"So what happened to the magic water?"

"After the fall of Western Rome, the water was drained and placed somehow into these stones and turned into jewelry, hidden beneath the armor & clothing of Europe's elite. Initially, it was used to create stronger leaders. A few rounds of warriors & wise men fusing, and you got a charismatic leader who starts a royal line or two. Many many generations later, its used to fix fertility problems. and then later genetic diseases. It's a factor in how hemophilia has disappeared in the European royal circles."

"Wait, are you royalty? Am I about to get a royal upgrade?

"No."

"No?"

"No."

I frown. "How did you get your hands on this?"

"The spoils of war, WW2 in particular. My grandfather served in the war and found the contents in an German castle. Germany was once so many kingdoms, so I guess there was a high chance of finding one. The only pair found, my guess is that the nobility there had a bad hiding spot. Then again, grandpop was good at finding shit. That is how we got rich: finding gold in exhausted mines, discovering treasure hoards and getting paid by governments to shut up about it."

"Is this what he gave to you as your inheritance after he died?"

"Part of it, if this works, yours is mine and mine is yours. Our merger will be mutual. A true blending. When this is over, a new being will be born. Either this ages us up or form a new babyface."

This was a lot to take in. I closed the book & sat down in an chair near the door. He went outside to the dorm balcony. He stared at the sky, took a deep breath and nodded. He took off his shirt. And turned to me after putting on the necklace.

He smiled, I forgot he still had braces.

"Bro, you still need mouth work?"

He pulled them off. It was a set of fake dentures.

"There's a the jester I know."

He was cut but lanky. My arms were bigger than his while his were longer.

It's like we are two halfs of a whole. Where he falters, I succeed. Vice versa.

"Its either we do this, or I go gobble up Tim."

I got up and walked towards him. "That meathead?"

"Tell me I wouldn't look like a men's health model after taking him in."

"You would be dumber." I was a few inches away from him. He blushes. I take the necklace and stretch it around my head and pull it down to me neck. It's very tight now, like egging us to move closer. I do. I start to float, my chest lining up to his and then pressing up against each other. I blush as well and we both are aroused.

"Ha...."

"if this is a marriage proposal, I say yes. If we are walking the same direction, lets do it officially." We kiss.

As our bodies are mushed together we take our arms and embrace each other. The necklace hums and disappears into our necks. It has begun.

We press harder against each other. My shirt phased through him and came out the other end. The same happened with the pants & underwear. Despite being made of denim, the jeans were able to stretch out and accommodate us both. ~Magic~

We were both naked inside this Frankenstein cocoon of our clothing. We were naked and pressed up against each other. And then it happened.

Where our skin was touching, they just simply gave way and merged and then stretched. This exposed our bloody insides to each other. And as our blood, flesh, and muscles touched, they broke down into a liquid slurry. The sounds started as moans, somehow being broken down to our basic materials & being unraveled felt so good. Those moans turned into wet rattles once our necks touched and went through the same process. Our bones broke down as well & if you had ex-ray vision, it look like a grey slurry. Then that slurry of skeletal matter moved towards the skin & turned our fused skin into an hardened vaguely human shaped cocoon made of skin wrapped in stretched clothing. It didn't matter what it was, brain, eyes, lungs, it was soon goop.

The moment our brains gooped, they swirl around and within each other. This meant that the first aspect of this new person being created was their mind. For Diego & Jason it was like entering a wild lsd trip, and when it was done, someone else would emerge. From their perspective, memories & personality traits were being taken and smashed together like two movie scenes being placed on top of each other, somehow blending perfectly to create new ones. For the personality, it was less of a mix and more of a battle for dominance. Some of Diego's aspects won, while some of Jason's did instead. There were some cases of traits just mixing but it was more of an either or. But by the end the process stopped, and this new self was born.

At the same time their dna mixed & merged. The result was a new traditional helix structure that was built using parts from Diego's & Jason's dna. At this point, there was no going back as the unused parts were broken down as energy, that life spark that would jump start this new person's existence.

With the new genetic instructions, their combined mass began to consolidate. The nervous system was already built and the skeletal system formed almost immediately afterward. The boney shell broke down and gave its contents to build it.

With the bone shell gone and no longer absorbing sound & impeding movement, you could hear the humanoid shaped bloated mass pulsate and almost shake a little.

The broke down organs reformed and moved into place, and the blood that was free floating began to enter the newly formed veins and do their tireless work. And second to last, the muscular system began to take shape almost at the same as the vascular system.

While this was going on, the fused skin started to shrink, with another fire from the newly minted dna, the muscle arranged themselves to their proper place and the skin backed up the placements through tightening.

And while the muscles & and skin were doing their jobs, the new being began to moan. It had no facial features yet, but sound was coming out where the mouth will be. Its arms were stretched at an 45 degree angle, and once the fingers formed, you can see it move its fingers randomly at different speeds as it tried to process the pleasures being felt from its creation, but give way to the sensations. It was a combination of moans and ahs.

These jolts of pleasure also activated it's reproductive organs. Diego had the longer member, while Jason was girthy. But this new being would enjoy both traits. Long & Thick. The skin tightening around that area made it moan even loader, a veiled threat that it would lose its mind with the new sensations. But it didn't.

Its body shape formed and its internals done, there were two more steps to go.

From front it had Diego's skin color, while the back half had Jason's. As if conceding to Diego, the Diego's skin complexion took over. And it was similar with the face. It started off with Diego's facial features, but used Jason's to refine them. Jason felt that Diego was more handsome, and so this reflected on a genetic level. Diego's hair color also took over, but Jason's traits gave them more volume. Diego had a near constant dark bags under his eyes. But that was gone for this being.

Looking at this new being, one would say that Diego gobbled up Jason. But that was not so. Essentially, what they admired in each other, the new being expressed it. There was no hiding things from each other now. They are each other.

The clothing snapped back into place. It had a white shirt & denim jeans, but it would have been a mixture had Jason decided to have something on beyond two layers of underwear.

With its newly formed mouth, this being let out a deep exhale and low sound that indicated that it had calmed down from all the moaning which indicated that the process was over.

It opened its eyes, the pupils shape and size where more from Jason. It didn't care, Jason is the past. These are his eyes. Who was he?

"I am Diego, no Jason, no..."

It walked back into the dorm. There was a large, human sized mirror. About 7 ft. He stood in front of it. He was 6'5 now.

"Christian, I am Christian now."

Diego + Jason = Christian.

Christian lifted up his shirt, place them behind his neck.and checked out his features.

He had Jason's abdominal insertions & shape. His chest too. These nips definitely came from him. His arms & shoulders were bigger than both Diego's & Jason's. Years of gym workouts finally showing up. He unbuttoned his pants to let his family rod breathe, it would shrink down over time, Christian was of the grower variety, he can access its full potential in the future when needed. The neck was a mixture, Diego's thickness with Jason's length. He had Diego's nose. The biggest change was the eyes, he had Jason's but darker and curvier. The ears were a combination of both. He looked older, mature, and yet had perfect skin. They achieved their goals. They merged into a someone who looked like a fully grown man.

More of his new memories flooded in. He was not a purely a chemist or a physicist, he double majored in Materials Science & Chemical Engineering. He had a choice departments at NASA. And soon, he'll have a house full of kids, once he finds the right one. But first the internship at NASA & grad school.

With a new sense of belonging & togetherness, the two best friends continued their life journey, together as one, forever.

Oh, wait, the necklace. Christian grasped at his neck and looked around. It was sitting on his bed. Hmm, I can make a fortune using this. This university is about to see an uptick in nerdy jocks. He thought to himself.

He knows the perfect pair. Shun & Tim. But first that trip the Greece, and then the work of bridging worlds begins. For a select few who can afford it or give me a good enough reason.

[ranticore]

YEAR 612: RESEARCH NOTEBOOK OF [REDACTED]

If found, promptly return to [REDACTED]

Entry 1

I've been told that my actual abstract and introduction should go somewhere else and that this is a space merely to record my thoughts and observations as I work. When I eventually publish my autobiography I'll find these notes invaluable. But for now I dispense with the introduction as nobody else will be reading this rough draft anyway aside from you Ami (you're not nearly as sneaky as you think). In addition, I'd rather not sacrifice this reedsilk for the sake of basic definitions.

The question of the Precursors has plagued me as long as I've known them etcetera etcetera this is not news and today I have received my most promising artifact yet. It is a small cylindrical device not unlike the memories within a longwing visor (Postmaster Mia-kef STILL refuses to allow me to examine his. For the attention of my future self: discover some way to bribe him). I have seen only illustrations of a dismantled visor, anyway, and inside the case there are these cylindrical devices.

Now one lands on my desk. It was not I that discovered it but one of the dredgers working at the docks. They would have thrown it out into the midden heap if not for one of my students (Heda-var was it?? Or Hebi-var. The pink one.) who had been buying fruit blocks at the floating market that very moment. He thought the device looked to be of interest to myself and he was right - I can confirm now that I've cleaned off the mud and exofauna that this is of Precursor origin. It is with some regret that I deny that particular student their [graduation] ceremony this year, unfortunately his scholarly work is borderline illiterate. I think I'll tell him to join the trades instead.

Anyway. To any uneducated dock-selkie or unapprenticed fledgling, it may be hard to tell. I see before me a hand-long cylinder roughened by the sea, with a hole at either end, in which sits a small metal prong. Any craftsperson could make a replica of this, presuming they were only intending to copy the look. But it is the material that betrays its ancient origin. This is not reed resin or stone, it isn't laminated silk, it's not the carved and shaped shell of a sipho. This material is lightweight, and if scraped, reveals itself to have been white originally, under the discolouration. An obsidian knife will do the trick. In the white tracks you will find that it is shiny, as well. This substance is a form of resin used by Precursors, which we cannot reproduce (I've tried) (note to self, this would be a brilliant paragraph for my biography). 

I have a few pieces myself in my personal bower, some very rare, which I brought with me from the Breaks. I still can't believe that my most uncommon resin mounting bracket was being used as ballast in that dirty fishing boat. My goodness I'm glad I saved THAT.

Until this landed on my desk, my wire tab was my favourite. Having sent samples to the scholars of material science I can confirm that this cylinder's origin is Siren: when heated in a furnace the structure behaves predictably, and the scholar described and illustrated his findings of oil droplets similar to our own resins produced from reed stalks. Oh - I suppose that's for the results and methodologies, not this journal. 

My bower is rather cramped and Ami-var is a passionate singer, so it's difficult to arrange my thoughts. I believe that if I were to fix this artifact into a reciprocating slot within, say, a longwing visor, I might be capable of accessing some of its contents. It would be a breakthrough the likes of which we have not seen since my master Pelti-vas first published his theses on Precursor diet. This one is larger than a longwing visor cylinder certainly but I am fascinated by that implication; perhaps there is a larger visor somewhere, for larger PrecurSURELY one gets bored of 'Over the Bowl-Run River' after its EIGHTH chorus

-

Argued with Ami-var again. He still doesn't believe that Precursors are anything more than a so-called 'common ancestor' that we harpies developed from. We do agree that Precursors were likely most similar to us shortwings but where does that leave longwings in this 'evolutionary' model? There is no fossil evidence of a so-called 'missing link' between longwings and Precursors. 

There are myths among the Western Spiral peoples of a common ancestor to all Sirenians, though they do focus more upon the sea-dwellers. Tektei-vas would not cease his yapping about all his travels among pelagic villages in every ocean and all their particular myths. I'd like to know whose dick he sucked to get such a venture funded. When I last proposed a research trip to Odr's Sleep to view the Precursor structure there, Iuinti-vay-or laughed me out of his bower. 

"How ridiculous! You want materials and funding for yourself, three students, two barge-workers, a visored navigator, and a dig team?" he said to me then as if my requests were unreasonable. What's unreasonable about a dig team? We're archaeologists! How else am I supposed to do my research? 

But he would rather throw funding into the school of medical science because it's such a crowd-pleaser. Don't think I don't see exactly why he favours them so much, and how the council enjoys such popularity when the medics are happy. Archaeology is just as important as-

Ami-var saw me writing and interrupted me. He accused me of muttering about our President again. 

Who wouldn't! The management of this place is abysmal and absolutely nothing I expected when I first came to this establishment. 

"Master Gania-vas got screwed over by him too," Ami-var said to me. "We were getting co-author credit on our new study about the morphological commonalities between Precursor, phocid, and shortwing phalanges. But they just sent us the study back asking us to fix the wording!"

This was news to me. I pressed him on it and he admitted that the council felt it was poor science to include phocids in the study. 

"Just because they're a different people," Ami-var said. "So there's no justification for roping them into shortwing science, but have you ever seen a phocid's hand up close?" 

"When would I ever have seen that?" I asked, perhaps a touch sardonically. 

"Good grief, Qedi-var, would you ever get off your ass and leave the bower once in a while?" Ami-var said, without anger. "It's really lazy of you."

Maybe I like the peace and quiet of the bower when he leaves. And also, he's taking his Spire birth for granted, he grew up around all sorts of people and all I had were shortwings. I'd never seen a phocid until I got here.

He told me that I was missing out on some great fried scaleworm stalls by the docks and that he only mentioned them because food was probably my only motivator. The usual accusations about my weight. We fought over that insult and I won, so he apologised. But that's not important.  

Back to the common ancestor myths. It's just a curious aside, really, and I don't find it terribly relevant to my work with Precursor artifacts, but when musing on the origin of intelligent life I suppose we could include the legends of the Spiral people and their belief in a common ancestor for all water-dwelling species. Their mythological figure naturally resembles a water person, not a harpy. 

Precursors were obviously harpies, Ami-var insists when I remind him of these tales and their relevance to the mandated exclusion of phocids from his study. I asked the fool how he could justify the selkie-like teeth in his beloved fossils and he told me I was an airbrained idiot wasting my time on resins when I could be looking at some dusty bones. I'm getting tired of fucking him. It's all just deflection with him and no real rigorous counter-argument, and I think his heart isn't in the fights either. It's as if he isn't invested in us as much as I am (cut that part out later). 

I've prepared my new memory cylinder for careful restoration but it won't be easy. It's so intact and whole that breaking it would be terrible and I'd have no other recourse than to immediately and promptly kill myself. But I have to get the dirt off somehow. If I can 

-- 

Journal, much has happened since I spilled ink over the end of the above paragraph in my shock. I was holding the core and something in it started to emit light. Not very much, it was still dirty, but it was clearly no ordinary light. When it shone on the canopy, there were obvious lines. 

The landstriders deep within the Bowl practice a form of shadow theatre by gluing their wing feathers into a board, painting it, and cutting designs into the surface so that firelight can shine through. I was reminded of the shadow theatre troupes I'd seen come through the Breaks, the slots cut between the feathers which would glow and cast orange lines onto our faces as the rest of the wing blocked the light.

But before I could scrape off more dirt to reveal the extent of the pattern, the damned thing perished. Here it lies now, innocently dull, on my desk. Perhaps the lack of sleep doesn't agree with me. I sleep with Iuinti-vay-or's stupid face at the forefront of my mind, as he stamps my proposals with denial, and this is hardly conducive to a restful environment. Ami-var will think I'm being unfaithful. 

I didn't show Ami-var when he got back. I'll show him when I know what it is. He brought me some of that fried scalefish to atone for calling my thesis an appalling rag and myself a fat tourist, so I suppose we are level again. I suspect, also, that he feels some measure of guilt over forgetting my condition and the difficulties it imposes upon my ability to visit the docks.

My next port of call was to recreate the circumstances that caused that light. I held it every which way you could imagine to no avail until I let the end tip, tired of holding it, and the metal in its southern port contacted the wire tab on my desk. It did not light again, but it did let out a rather anaemic glow which could only be discerned because I'd had the foresight to draw the blackout canopy over my desk. That lasted as long as it took me to draw breath, and then no amount of contact with the wire could bring it back to life. 

What I needed was a longwing visor. They are not easily parted with their owners but Ebb-a-vef is more easily bribed than his partner Mia-kef. Ami-var's peace offering did nicely but I wish I'd been able to eat it, it did look really good and I know that locals like Ami-var get higher quality stuff than what I could wrangle from the stalls with my Breaks accent. Ebb was well-pleased with the gift and agreed to part with his visor, the black Signaswun, for the afternoon. 

Signaswun is one of the larger visors and certainly too large for me to comfortably operate. I promised I would not harm it. In hindsight I wish I'd lied, I should have opened the back panel to access the cylinders directly. Instead I was very precious with it and it took almost four hours to run my own wire coil into the back panel through the earpiece. Anyone less dextrous than myself would have destroyed both artifacts. And I confess that by the fourth hour I was increasingly in support of their destruction. 

But with no help from Ebb or Signaswun I successfully fed the wire through the labyrinth and into the cylinder chamber. 

[themissinghand]

Hello beautiful I hope you’re doing well! If your requests for dr.stone are still on hold then please ignore this message!

if not then can I request the five wise commanders with a s/o who tries to impress them by learning the stuff they are interested in. (Examples can be like Ryusui’s s/o tried to learn about boats or Chrome’s s/o tries to learn about rocks and tells them the stuff they learned.) Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a good one!😁

Dr. Stone: Painting with Two Hands

Summary: In which the Five Wise Commanders get blown away by your knowledge in their passion. 

Or you want to show them that you are someone they can rely on too. 

Pairing: Five Wise Commanders (Senku, Chrome, Gen, Ryusui, and Ukyo)  x GN! Reader!

Note: Thanks for the request and your patience! This turned out super fluffy and I love it! Each scenario takes place in a different time/place. 

Warning: None. 

★・・・・・・★

The Art of Science

“What the hell are you wearing?”

“A lab coat.” Senku looked at you incredulously, with one brow raised and his other hand shaking a glass beaker. 

“Okay, how the heck did you even get that-“

“Yuzuriha.” Right. 

“And why are you wearing it exactly?”

“Because I look good in it and…” 

"I've been studying chemistry," You declared, revealing a notebook filled with meticulously recorded observations.

When you hand him the said notebook, you watch his skepticism turn into fascination.

“Kukuku, I’m impressed, it’s right. You wrote down the formulas for everything. Where and when did you get this?”

“See, I actually listened to all of your scientific rants. I thought they were interesting and super helpful, so I wanted to learn.”

Senku blinked, slightly surprised that you had put in the effort to take notes, listen and learn.

“I thought that we could experiment together."

For a moment, he was silent, but then his lips quirk up into a smirk, and he flicked your forehead.

“Alright, what are you waiting for? Come help me then. Show me what you learned.” 

“Wait.” Senku was twirled around and handed a lab coat too.

“I got one for you too.” Dumbfounded, Senku didn’t move until you sighed and helped him put it on. Before you went to fix his collar, he came to his senses.

“I can do it myself.” He quickly turned away from you and put it on properly.

"You look good short king."

You had a smug expression on your face.

"Shut up."

You swear he has a little tint of pink on his cheeks, but you decided to not mention it.

“Come on, we got a lot of work to do.” He extended a hand, and you accepted it as if it was the norm. 

“I know Einstein.” 

The Art of Exploration

“Chrome! Look at what I found!” 

“Be careful (Y/N)! Don’t fall down!” 

Chrome ran after you as you skipped ahead and jumped into a flowing river. 

“(Y/N)!” Chrome was always worried about your safety and well-being, despite the many times where you proved where you were just as strong as him. 

“Don’t worry Chrome, it’s not like it’s my first time out with you! Besides, look, I found this cool-looking thing in the water!” 

In your hands was an oddly shaped rock, and while the two of you inspected it, neither of you knew what it was. Until you cleaned it a bit more in the river. 

A golden exterior shone through its surface. 

Almost immediately, you screamed out in excitement. 

“Gold! It’s the thing that Senku was looking for right?” Even Chrome was shocked at your luck, before hugging you from behind.

Even though you both were slightly dirty from running away and exploring all day, neither of you minded.

“It’s gold! Amazing! How did you find that so easily?” Chrome was genuinely curious. After all, from his perspective, he simply saw you jump into a river, bend down, and pick up a random rock. 

“Um…it’s kind of embarrassing but…” Chrome cocked a head at your hesitation before you blurted out. 

“I’VE BEEN LEARNING ABOUT ROCKS!” It was so loud that the world shook around you both. 

"because...I want to go with you more when you explore..." Your voice became quieter and quieter, while you fidgetted with your hand.

Chrome watched your face lit up, before you quickly turn around and make a run for it. 

“Wait (Y/N)! That’s so cool! Come back!” 

Chrome chased you with a giant grin on his face.

He can’t wait to see what you learned, and how, when the two of you go back to his workshop. 

Chrome also can’t wait to brag to everyone (especially Senku) how great you are.

The Art of Communication

“Raise.”

“I’ll play with you Genie, call.” The click of chips being pushed to the center. Gen(ie) winked at you.

Genie was nickname for your little boyfriend, why? Well, man can read minds (probably).

The cards are slowly being flipped over as spectators make their own guesses.

“All-in!” Gen pushed up his sunglasses dramatically (as if he was in an anime) and smirked as he turned to you.

“Sorry dear (Y/N), this is my game.” 

You stayed silent for a moment, observing Gen from head to toe.

But Gen of course, remains calm, and confident in his hand.

“All-in.” 

Gen raises his sunglasses in slight surprise at your bet.

“Dear (Y/N), are you sure?” Gen was slightly worried, after all, you tend to be more on the conservative side when it comes to gambling. He slides his hand over to you, and you put yours on top of his. 

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” You returned his look with a forced smile. Gen whistled, surprised at your sudden bold action. 

“Okay, I’m going to flip the last card.” Kohaku flips and the room goes silent. 

Then he saw a smirk rose to your lips, and felt your hand intertwin with his. 

“You owe me babe.” You hold up his hand while his jaw dropped to the ground. 

This was the first you had ever won against him in gambling. 

“Finally someone gave Gen a taste of his own medicine.” Ukyo rolled his eyes before snickering. 

“Wha-how did you-” 

"I thought I'd learn from the best.” You winked and stole his sunglasses, making your beloved stutter even more. 

“After all, the mind is the most fascinating puzzle, and yours is the most intriguing of them all." You put on his sunglasses with a smug smirk.

“Damn, that was cringe.” Senku commented, which received a nudge from Yuzuriha. 

Gen eventually recovered and chuckled, bringing your hand to his lips. 

“Oh dear (Y/N), are you playing mind tricks with me now?” 

“Of course not dear~ I still have much to learn~” 

(Senku of course, fake gagged behind the scenes, but that never stopped you and Gen from doing anything, has it?)

The Art of Navigation

Under the starlit sky, both you and Ryusui stood on the deck of the Perseus, his eyes scanning the horizon. 

It was at times like these where your boyfriend was finally quiet, appreciating the tranquility, and the ambience as you two were on a date. Delicious food and wine made by Francois, while listening to the waves rock against the ship, and the laughter from others inside. 

Of course, Ryusui is the one to break that silence when he notices the seas changing. 

“My love, a storm is coming.” He suddenly stands up, “Francois, follow me after you clean up.” 

“Yes sir.” Francois, elegant and efficient as always, quickly retreated with the food. 

“Ay ay Captain.” Your little salute made his loosen up just a little, before he held your hand, and pulled you inside as if he was guiding you in a waltz.

Ambitious, confident, and charismatic, that was your love, Ryusui.

As expected, he took the helm immediately, and an excited grin rose to his face as he looked far into the distance with thunderous clouds. 

“Love, can you tell them all to get ready!? We need all hands on deck!” 

“On it captain!” 

With a laugh, you began warning everyone through the speakers, and chaos followed as everyone scrambled to get on desk.

Surprisingly, Ryusui watched you give commands almost effortlessly and matching his pace.

“Furl the sails!” 

“We’re going to change courses!” 

“Make sure to hold to the ship!” 

“Love, you’re perfect.” Ryusui thanks you while he spins the wheel.

“Drop the anchors!” 

Then you turn around and slide beside him. 

“Love, let me help you - it’s that way - where we have to go right?” 

“A little bit more to the left, but love, I see you’ve been learnING-” The ship’s center of gravity suddenly shifts, causing you to lean on Ryusui as you grab onto the wheel for your deer life. 

“I love it! The desire to learn is always so endearing!” 

“Oh stop it~ All I did was read some maps and books!” 

“Hey Captain! Can you stop flirting and steer the ship properly!?” The others yelled while panicking on deck, and with a laugh, both of you steered the ship to safety. 

"One more time?" He proposed, and you agreed, much to the displeasure of your crewmates.

The Art of Archery

Sometimes, the kids are loud. 

As such, Ukyo and his companion often found solace in the tranquility of the forest. Sometimes they would take long walks, talk about various topics they would not share in front of children, and enjoy the silence once in a while away from the chaos of someone known as Senku. 

But one day, you asked Ukyo to learn archery. 

Naturally, Ukyo was elated to teach you, after all, it was a way for you to protect yourself. 

It began with Ukyo making a bow for you, then arm guard, and even received gloves from Yuzuriha. He wanted to make sure you had the best of equipment he could get, and that you were safe at all times.

The first few training sessions began with Ukyo standing behind you, guiding you with a calm, mellow voice, and helping you with aim. 

But soon, you both practiced archery side by side, the twang of bowstrings harmonizing with the rustling leaves.

"Your aim is getting better," Ukyo praised, a smile gracing his lips as he applauded you. 

“Thanks, it all because of your help Ukyo.” You gave him a little hug which he returned. 

“I’m proud of you.” 

“Can I come and hunt with you now?” For a moment he hesitated, but after seeing your adorable puppy eyes, he caved in within a heartbeat. 

“Okay, but safety first ok?” 

“Mhmm. I know.” 

You gave him a peck on the cheek, before he returned one too. 

LIttle did you know, not only were your arrows hitting the bulls-eye, they went through Ukyo’s heart too.

[arrrion]

A face I remember

Senku Ishigami/Xeno H. Wingfield x gn reader (separated)

Synopsis: The Kingdom of science kidnapped Doctor Xeno and while trying to escape the Hell Hound, Stanley, they encounter two new figures, one they didn't imagine seeing there.

Before we start, I just want to let you know I'm not familiar with writing in English, there might be mistakes. Feel free to tell me or not.

Senku's part his probably much more longer than Xeno's but I think Xeno's is less platonic than Senku's.

Disclaimers: maybe a bit ooc?

→ The plan was to escape with Xeno. Now that they had him tied up, what was the next step? Ah yes, use Medusa as a bait. Senku knew that Stanley would be a hassle to deal with, but it wasn't the first time he found himself in such situation. He could do it. They would do it.

So the two scientists, quickly followed by Chrome, were doing their science things. And while they do that, stopping somewhere was a need they couldn't overlook. They needed rubber and mostly something to keep the boat going. Stanley would be quick to follow them behind, they had to be real fast.

However some girl decided differently.

Taiju was using his strength as usual when he saw the strange words in the sky. It happened to be the schemes of Chelsea. They gave her clothes and glasses as she had the same problem as little Suika.

Senku Ishigami

"I can totally see ! My whacked-oit vision is fixed !" She yeld as she jumped up like a little kid. "Yay ! Thanks a million !"

Chelsea was introduced to the group, she was getting lost on the excitment to see again that she forgot why she was mostly blind before.

"Oh my god they have to see this ! But where are my manners ! I need to make you guys meet them. They are so-" Chelsea got cut off when she understood that everyone was looking at her curiously.

"And can we know who you are talking about ? You are not alone ?" Senku was the one to break the awkward moment.

"Well I guess I'm not alone? They woke up before me. You should totally see how much they build when I was still in stone. Also they kind of helped me even though when I told them I would make those kites to find help, they didn't wanted to come." She continued to mumble on how you wouldn't make the kites with her, leading to her writing "H E L L" instead of "H E L P".

Genuinely curious, Senku really wanted to know who you might be (he just want more hands to work istg). But they hadn't enough time and he couldn't just leave every directions to Xeno while he go more in the forest.

So, while everyone continue to work, Kohaku will escort Chelsea to meet you in person.

"Ah you need to be careful Kohaku"

"Why that"

"Let's say they don't like feeling in danger, or they just love building all sorts of traps maybe?" Like Chelsea told the blond gorilla, the closest they got to your camp, the more traps Kohaku had to avoid while the geographer just knew where they all where, even more since she could see.

They finally stood in front of a big three that was really large.

"That's it? Where are they?" The blond was puzzled.

"They build their camp really high in that tree. " The little girl put her hands her mouth before taking a breath. "HEY NAME IT'S ME! I BRANG A FRIEND !" Silence responded her. But then different sounds of creaking wood and rustling leaves and next a big stomp startled them both as someone just jumped on the floor.

"Who is it" A voice that wanted to be intimidating stood behind Kohaku. She soon felt a hand on the back of her head. The stranger probably had an object in their other hand.

"Nooooo don't do thaaaaat! They are my friend I told you!"

"Yeah but that woman has the strength of a beast, I won't risk it" Your voice sounded like a girl the same age as the blond, she thinked.

"I'm here as the representative of our group. Chelsea wanted is to meet you."

"Where do you come from. You and that group." Kohaku looked at you, not understanding your words.

"They asked you where you where all from" Chelsea whispered. You blinked, recognizing the language.

"We come from Japan." You almost released her.

"You came here from Japan? Wait all of you?" You were clearly shocked. In the back of your mind, an image of your friends from there showed up but you quickly brushed it off. "And why are you here?"

"Ah they are escaping from someone if I remember. They just stopped to get wood." Chelsea wanted to respond, trying to ease you a little. "They are not bad guys Name." She said. "I mean Taiju is definitely a cool guy! Senku gave me those glasses ! Xeno look different. Hey I even got clothes look! And Ryusui is loud-" She kept talking about each one of them but you didn't heard the rest after the two first names. Those where the names of your two friends ! It couldn't be a coincidence right? You moved from behind the blond girl and she could get a visual at you. She wandered why Chelsea hadn't good clothes. Of course you wouldn't let her like this. Your were lacking in that. You weren't naked but if it weren't for that cloak that hide most of your body, Kohaku could tell you had not much to cover yourself. Why in earth would you build all those traps but not try to sew clothes?? She got cut of in her thoughts when you finally had enough to wait for the geographer to stop talking and you shut her mouth with your hand.

"Chelsea, my dear, said two names that interest me. You, blond girl, tell me, how would you describe those Taiju and Senku?"

"Describe? Well Taiju is really strong and yells a lot and Senku is a weirdo but with science we will restore humanity !" She smiled proudly at her statements, not even thinking one bit that she could lie. She was confident of it.

"Yea that sounds like them" You smiled. Those smile that were beyond happiness. She didn't know that she had just told you that your biggest dream was here. You had woken up here, on that stone world, alone. You were not in Japan when the petrification beam touch you so you knew you had little chance to see them back one day. You had already accepted that you would die without saying bye.

Kohaku watched your face contort with sadness, leaving your before happiness go away. You were just crushed by the reality. Your friends were there, in America. You just had to follow this girl and you would see them. You réalise that you were a coward for allowing you to lose hope. It's Senku we talk about? Of course he would've woke up and come this far ! You wiped your teary eyes and put both hands on Kohaku's shoulders.

"I will go take my stuff and you will conduct me to them." You waited for a nod, and, as flash, went back up on the tree, and went back as quickly. You three then proceeded to return where the group was, you deactivating the traps that were on your way. You did it with an ease that surprise the blond. In two to three movements from you, she could tell they weren't dangerous anymore. Kohaku felt a feeling of proud just thinking that someone like you would join the Kingdom of science soon.

The walk went to an end and soon you saw all the group occupied with their work. Seeing Chelsea and Kohaku return, Senku approched them, followed by Ryusui and Gen. Seeing him coming, you covered your head, waiting to surprise him a bit, getting a reaction out of him.

"You returned faster than I thought. Did it go well ?" He saw your figure behind but with your head covered he couldn't help the feeling that something big was happening.

"Yes ! They are amazing Senku, you should've seen all those traps they made back in the forest !" Kohaku was giving you too much credits you thinked. The scientist looked at you. The feeling grew bigger every seconds. He could feel his heart beat of anticipation.

"You didn't change much, Leek Hair" The said leek froze. He wouldn't forget that voice. His eyes locked with yours, even if your face stayed hidden. After seconds that felt like hours for everyone, you walked to him, showing your face to daylight, and you didn't hesitate to take him in your arms. He didn't push you, letting one of his hand move to your back.

"It's been a while, Mechanic Addict."

Xeno Wingfield

"You..." He started, recognizing the geographer. "You're Dr.Chelsea !"

"Xeno ! It's you !" She was also surprised. Xeno explained who she was to the group that captured him. As everyone was acknowledging the new figure, Xeno couldn't stop himself to wonder. If he remembered well, when Chelsea was invited at the gathering, you were with her. Chelsea was a genius geographer while you were a mechanic that had work for different big project, and at that time you were working with him at NASA. Chelsea is young so you had stick to her to avoid her trouble. He remembered seeing you petrified near her. Why didn't you come find him ? Where you still a stone ?

"Dr.Chelsea," She turned to him. ''Didn't Name woke up?" He needed to know.

"Ah ! They did-"

"They didn't see the sign I left ?"

"I don't think so? I told them we were going to south" Xeno noded. At least you were not in stone.

"Senku, if Name is indeed awake, I recommand you to take them with us, they would be really usefull." Of course he was right with his statement but he especially wanted you to convert you to his side.

"She should be back soon. She go in the forest everyday to check on the traps." As Chelsea said that, footsteps could be heard. They stopped. And they rushed. Xeno had little time to alert everyone that you already attacked whoever was to close to Chelsea. But you got stopped by Kohaku.

"Aaah don't attack them Name, they saved me!" Chelsea cried out to you. Seeing you relaxed, the blond released you. You got up on your two feets before talking.

"I only left you for a couple of hours and you find us big threats..." You sighed. Now that you didn't seem to want to attack anymore, the group explained to you their situation and you got kind of adopted by them? Now that all misunderstanding was removed, you looked like a big sister to them and the whole group of teen was glad to have you, even though your japanese was pretty bad.

Xeno actually stayed aside. He was contemplating you from afar. Only when you where left alone did he approached you.

"So you depetrified too, how elegant" You stiffened, immediately recognizing his voice. You eyes locked a couple of seconds before your hands touched his cheeks. He let you do so. You smiled, relieved.

"I missed you" He smiled too. Then, he pushed you to him, initiating a hug.

"I missed you too"

Well...

I hope you liked it?

It might feel rushed sometimes because it's been a while since I started writing this and I really wanted to finish it as soon as possible. I might write a part 2 because we don't get enough informations in this and I like what I imagined.

Also I don't think I will write it soon. I only write when I can and when I have motivation. I'll try if people like this.

See you some days !